I cried last night

I cried last night. I cried for a baby I don't even know. All I saw was the title of the news article, and that was all I needed to see. The baby had been hurt badly.
I didn't read any further.
I didn't need to.
It didn't matter.
I had seen enough.
The big guy saw and heard my reaction, and then saw the same thing I had seen. He took the laptop away from me.

I don't watch the news because of things like this. My mind cannot handle it. I am that person that lays in bed at night, crying and picturing whatever awful news story is going on at the time. The big guy is always good at keeping an ear open for especially horrific stories, so he can forewarn me, and then I know to not look at a newspaper and I know to use caution on the internet.

I try my best to avoid stories like this. Yet, somehow I tend to see a lot. More often than not, I see parents making poor choices. We can be out grocery shopping, and I hear the mother in the next aisle over quietly snap "You knock it off or I'll let your dad deal with you when we get home." I can be reading about parenting advice and get stuck on the line that advises not to pick up a crying baby or she will be spoiled. I can be driving out of a parking lot and happen to glance back to see in my mirror a parent forcefully yanking their small child along, who is simply tying to point something out to their parent. I can be sitting in church and see the parent several pews away sneakily pinch their toddler to get them to be quiet, only causing the child cry louder. I can be in a public restroom and hear the parent scolding their toddler because "You always have to use the bathroom no matter where we go! I don't know why I bother to take you anywhere!" The list goes on and on. It's almost daily. And I'm not saying these are 'bad' parents, by any means. We all have our own parenting style, and I have no doubt that these parents love their children something fierce. But the thing that sticks with me... the image I can never get out of my head, is always the child's reaction.... the child's response, or the child's face. The innocence, the not understanding what it is they have done that is so wrong.

And every single time, I ask God, "WHY". "Why are You so determined to make sure I see and hear these things? YOU KNOW I don't handle this well! Why can't I go through my day and not notice these things?"

So, after seeing that especially upsetting news article, I sat and I cried for that baby. I prayed, asking Him to clear my head. I didn't want to think about it or picture it anymore. And I asked Him again. "WHY did you let me see this?"

And I woke up this morning with a possible answer.

Every single day, I ask God to give me His eyes. Give me His ears. I want to see things the way He does. I pray for this because I don't want to judge people. 2 years ago I realized I was very judgmental and knew I needed to fix that. So I started to pray for help.

Like I said, this morning I woke up with a possible answer.
Is there a reason He makes sure I see these things every day?
Could He be giving me glimpses through His eyes?
Is He making sure I see these things so I can see what He sees?
I mean, that is I've asked for... right? I suppose I haven't been overly specific in telling Him WHY I'm asking for His eyes.
I'm still trying to figure it out.
I'm fairly certain I'm supposed to be saying some prayers when placed in these situations.
I don't know where else to go from there.
I'm still waiting on that answer.

This is one of my favorite songs. It is called "Give Me Your Eyes", by Brandon Heath.
Enjoy.