It's all fun and games until you run and crash into a tree and give your children nightmares

So tonight I had this great idea... Which coincidentally is where things first started to go really, really bad.

You see, the dog was in the back yard, barking nonstop and driving me batty.

So I loosely 'suggested' that the big guy puts on a Halloween mask, go out the front door, creep around the house, and REALLY give the dog something to bark about. 

He thought that was a lovely idea and jumped at the chance.

So he put on the mask, a black sweatshirt, and out the front door he went.

In the meantime, the children and I turned OFF the lights in the house, turned ON the lights in the back yard, and crowded around the back windows to watch it all unfold.

It was HYSTERICAL watching the dog zipping around the yard, scared half to death, and barking at the masked man creeping through the back yard.  The children squealed with delight and I almost peed in my pants.

The big guy made it almost all the way up to the house before the dog figured out it was only him and started wagging her tail in relief.

And the fun was over.

But wait, there's more!


The big guy eventually came stumbling inside, removed the mask, and revealed the bruised cheekbone and blood running down his nose.

Evidently, he ran into a tree.

And then ran into a post under the deck.

At full speed.


But wait, there's more!

Because then the 2 oldest children decided that THEY wanted to go out and scare the poor dog.

And you see, as they were plotting their scheme, the big guy and I were plotting ours.

Oh yes... we were plotting ours.  heh heh heh...

So as soon as the boys went out the front door, I called the dog inside.  
And the big guy headed outside... and do you have any guesses as to what happens next?

Everything went horribly, horribly wrong.  THAT'S what happens next.

Because when the big guy growled like a madman and jumped from the shadows and started chasing the children, the oldest boy jumped several feet into the air, screamed like a girl... and then immediately got PISSED RIGHT THE HELL OFF.

But the youngest boy... oh my youngest boy... he jumped into the air, screamed, started to cry, and came running at mach speed up the deck steps, I don't even think his feet landed on each step, I think he might have literally flew up the steps, ran across the deck, threw the sliding glass door open and LEAPED into the house with a terrified expression that said "I'M BEING MURDERED PLEASE HELP ME."  All while his screams and wails filled the neighborhood.  (I'm actually more than a little surprised the neighbors didn't call 911 - the cries were THAT bad.)

He came running right to me and collapsed into my arms in heaving sobs and shaking like a leaf.

He was followed closely by the oldest boy, who you remember was PISSED OFF and threw his mask across the kitchen and proceeded to scold EVERYONE for RUINING the moment.

All this while the big guy and I laughed like crazed maniacs.

.......


And that was my great idea for the night.

And it was all the dog's fault for barking so much.

Unfortunately, the camera doesn't do justice to his injuries.

Tomorrow, he will surely have a nicely colored bruise under his eye.




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