Here's to more hugs!

This evening there was some drama over homework.  This time it was with Sam.  He pouted and stomped and argued about how badly he did not want to do his book report.  The big guy argued back, making valid points, and when he added a touch of sarcasm Sam flew over the edge - into a full blown fit of rage.  He cried out, "I hate it when you do that!" as he ran down the stairs to his bedroom and slammed the door.

I stood in the midst of this meltdown, trying to figure out what just happened.

After a few moments the big guy started to yell after him, but I shot him a look (you know, the one that made him be quiet),  and I quietly went down to Sam's room, to find him sitting on his floor against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest, sobbing into his folded arms.

Seeing him like that ripped my heart out.  And it hit me.  He needed a HUG.

There are too many times we argue with these boys and we make them so mad
And they make us so mad.

And when we finally get through to them, they are the ones left crying... not us.
Whether it's tears of frustration or tears of relief, they cry.

And the very last thing we ever think to do is actually HUG them.
Because we're either still too MAD at them or too quick to move on to the next issue in life.
And there is still a child left crying.
Not being hugged.

So as we sat on the floor together and I wrapped my arms around him, he melted ... and I could almost feel him feeling my love.

I realized how lucky I have it.  When I am mad, or crying, or frustrated, or hurt, I have the big guy to quickly wrap his arms around me, and I immediately feel better.  Safe.  Content.  And when he's been hurt, or is frustrated, I do the same for him.
We hug often.
And it's nice.
When the little girls are mad, or crying, or hurt, we are quick to grab them and hug them.
And it calms them.

But these boys, who are growing very quickly into young men, rarely get hugs outside of bedtime.
They're just getting to that age.
You know, the age where it feels weird to run to mom or dad when hurt.

The majority of the times that they're feeling the negative/cry feelings is because of a punishment we are giving or an argument they've had with us.

And in those moments while Sam was crying in my arms, I put myself in his and Logan's position.
The position where rarely, if ever, feeling loving arms around me when I'm hurting.
And that position really sucked.

The big guy and I talked about after all the kids were tucked in.

From now on, there will be MORE HUGS for these older two boys.

Soon enough these boys will be pushing us away.

We have some time to make up for.